Listen, I am fully aware at this stage that Michael Jackson is dead. I am fully aware that he had a strange and terrible life filled with misery and depression and excessive prescription drugs and dubious sexual practices and bizarre plastic surgery and a partridge in a pear tree. I am fully aware that he sold a lot of albums, made a lot of money, was the King of Pop and moonwalked to the clinic to get his skin bleached. I have been fed so much information on this freak of nature over the past three days I feel I could write his biography (However, I wouldn't waste my time on such on enterprise because what do I care about an average musician who allegedly touched kids cocks as a hobby?)
News needs to be new. That is why it is called NEWs. He's dead three days now. I never thought I'd say this but please, Sky News, please tell me about the brave boys in Iraq. Please tell me about Katie Price/Jordan/Titty O'Toole and her wild soirees in Ibiza. Please tell me about something that is happening right NOW! Please tell me ANYTHING other than MICHAEL JACKSON IS FUCKING DEAD.
And don't get me started on the idiot tabloids. 'Fatso' Murphy and 'Git' Smith and fucking 'Fingers' McGraw... they're fucking criminals, not Disney cartoon characters. You useless, pathetic cunts.
I start with the best of intentions and end up riling myself into an intense fury. Still, nothing like a bit of keyboard heroism eh?
In positive news, Blur were "well kewl" at Glasto. "Wikkid"!
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Riding scooters on vacation whilst listening to the Fall
As the majority of my readership (which comprises of those I browbeat into reading this insipid nonsense) are not familiar with the 'behind the scenes' mechanics of Blogspot I have decided to compose a blog on some of the foibles of this wonderful little web service. Well, one in particular. Note the way I used the phrase 'behind the scenes' so as to conjure up images of Hollywood superstars and the global film industry, thus enticing you into reading this rubbish. In this respect I am like Heat magazine.
Let me describe to you one particular foible I always found especially unusual and somewhat charming. Cue boring exposition. For each new post I make I must insert a 'label'. The label of the blog must describe, in a word, what is contained therein. So a politics entry will receive the label politics and so on. "Very straightforward" I hear you say. However the kind folks at Blogspot, fully aware that they are dealing with legions of morons, have decided to give us examples...hm. Let me illustrate what I'm talking about with a simple JPEG image:
Always those three same examples. Scooters. Vacation. Fall. It is as if to say that we are such dullards we are unable to understand the concept of labelling. Or perhaps to say "You know you can write your blog about different things??! Here are some different things!" Nevertheless, it is a charming juxtaposition of words. For me it conjures up images of riding Lambrettas through the sunswept Californian countryside just as it begins to turn a beautiful shade of gold.
Anyway, next time I plan to write a lovely little story about the above. Now, however, I intend to watch Spain play South Africa in the Confederations Cup. Stephen Pienaar is doing a job but crusty old Villa got a cheaty goal. Bye!
Let me describe to you one particular foible I always found especially unusual and somewhat charming. Cue boring exposition. For each new post I make I must insert a 'label'. The label of the blog must describe, in a word, what is contained therein. So a politics entry will receive the label politics and so on. "Very straightforward" I hear you say. However the kind folks at Blogspot, fully aware that they are dealing with legions of morons, have decided to give us examples...hm. Let me illustrate what I'm talking about with a simple JPEG image:
Always those three same examples. Scooters. Vacation. Fall. It is as if to say that we are such dullards we are unable to understand the concept of labelling. Or perhaps to say "You know you can write your blog about different things??! Here are some different things!" Nevertheless, it is a charming juxtaposition of words. For me it conjures up images of riding Lambrettas through the sunswept Californian countryside just as it begins to turn a beautiful shade of gold.
Anyway, next time I plan to write a lovely little story about the above. Now, however, I intend to watch Spain play South Africa in the Confederations Cup. Stephen Pienaar is doing a job but crusty old Villa got a cheaty goal. Bye!
Sunday, June 14, 2009
It's a funny old game of two halves at the end of the day Bill.
The transfer window. Home of insanity since...well, since I don't know when. 2009 will be hailed, however, as the years "things escalated" as the man said. I remember the good old days of the 1990's when Andy/Andrew Cole moving to Manchester United for £7 million was considered extravagance beyond measure. Now we have the boy Ronaldo and the other boy Kaka moving for a combined fee of about £150 million which is a substantial amount of funds by anyone's estimation. To say I could purchase a small country for that amount of money is of course a truism but the fact is I could purchase a fairly large country for that amount these days. Any number of African banana republics are crying out for a dictatorial leader to rule over them with an iron fist of tyranny. With £150 million I could be that man. Just give me that chance.
Of course, I would get no return on my investment save perhaps for a bullet square in the head about 12 days into my reign of terror. Florentine Perez, on the other hand, believes he can make a profit from these extravagant purchases through lucrative tours and merchandising. Perez benefits from having a well established brand under his command; arguably the most popular brand in football. Add to this the global superstars who ply their trade for Real Madrid and you have an extremely potent force in terms of global merchandising. For the romantics amongst us (and I'd include myself in that category) this era of merchandising is something of a blight but the business side of football is now crucial for any club wishing for success at the very highest level.
The other great club football brands, such as Liverpool and in particular Manchester United, make no attempts to disguise how crucial their business empire is to their continued success. Tours of East Asia, where Premier League football is hugely popular, make millions of pounds out of enthusiastic fans who will pay anything to see their superstars up close and personal. Eyeing that, the Premier League have made proposals to stage games abroad each season; proposals that have been met with disgust by fans of the league. However, it is the natural progression for the league; Premier League football is now global. Fans in Ireland in particular cannot be so hypocritical as to deny fans further afield pleasures which are relatively easily available to us considering that, for a lot of us, our connection to the English club we support was created largely through the marketing of the clubs and corporations in question.
Unfortunately, as the bigger clubs gain both clout and cash by selling out to the businessmen, smaller clubs and lower league football begins to suffer. We need look no farther than our own country to see the effect the Sky Super Wednesday phenomenon has on local football where interest and attendances have dwindled hugely since the advent of Sky's strangehold on EPL coverage. But I digress...
The question is whether these purchases by Real Madrid are extremely insane or extremely pragmatic. The recent past gives some credence to the latter. Real Madrid did it with Zidane. They did it with Beckham. And both times they made huge money on their investements, with the Zidane Galactico era bringing great success to the club and Beckham bringing in huge money in terms of shirt sales and merchandising. The ante has been upped as regards the amount of investement but it is possible that huge expenditure will be at least recouped in time. Add to this the fact the Madrid have hugely increased their chances of having a successful campaign both home and abroad next year and you begin to wonder is Perez more level headed than we think.
Hard to say though. Maybe Perez and his board are business geniuses. Or maybe Dunphy was right and they've been on acid this whole time. Fear and Loathing in the Bernabeu...now that could make some serious cash.
Of course, I would get no return on my investment save perhaps for a bullet square in the head about 12 days into my reign of terror. Florentine Perez, on the other hand, believes he can make a profit from these extravagant purchases through lucrative tours and merchandising. Perez benefits from having a well established brand under his command; arguably the most popular brand in football. Add to this the global superstars who ply their trade for Real Madrid and you have an extremely potent force in terms of global merchandising. For the romantics amongst us (and I'd include myself in that category) this era of merchandising is something of a blight but the business side of football is now crucial for any club wishing for success at the very highest level.
The other great club football brands, such as Liverpool and in particular Manchester United, make no attempts to disguise how crucial their business empire is to their continued success. Tours of East Asia, where Premier League football is hugely popular, make millions of pounds out of enthusiastic fans who will pay anything to see their superstars up close and personal. Eyeing that, the Premier League have made proposals to stage games abroad each season; proposals that have been met with disgust by fans of the league. However, it is the natural progression for the league; Premier League football is now global. Fans in Ireland in particular cannot be so hypocritical as to deny fans further afield pleasures which are relatively easily available to us considering that, for a lot of us, our connection to the English club we support was created largely through the marketing of the clubs and corporations in question.
Unfortunately, as the bigger clubs gain both clout and cash by selling out to the businessmen, smaller clubs and lower league football begins to suffer. We need look no farther than our own country to see the effect the Sky Super Wednesday phenomenon has on local football where interest and attendances have dwindled hugely since the advent of Sky's strangehold on EPL coverage. But I digress...
The question is whether these purchases by Real Madrid are extremely insane or extremely pragmatic. The recent past gives some credence to the latter. Real Madrid did it with Zidane. They did it with Beckham. And both times they made huge money on their investements, with the Zidane Galactico era bringing great success to the club and Beckham bringing in huge money in terms of shirt sales and merchandising. The ante has been upped as regards the amount of investement but it is possible that huge expenditure will be at least recouped in time. Add to this the fact the Madrid have hugely increased their chances of having a successful campaign both home and abroad next year and you begin to wonder is Perez more level headed than we think.
Hard to say though. Maybe Perez and his board are business geniuses. Or maybe Dunphy was right and they've been on acid this whole time. Fear and Loathing in the Bernabeu...now that could make some serious cash.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
The Irish Greens Remembrance Society...
...or how quickly promise can turn to compost. Over the last ten years, Green politics became increasingly fashionable in the Western world as the threat of climate change began to manifest itself across the world. Ridiculous hippies such as Al Gore (okay, poor example) bleated incessantly about poor old Mother Nature's struggle against the evils of mankind. Hip young thangs staged another one of these bloody annoying global concerts in an effort to heighten awareness of climate change (I think it was called I Hart Treez). And so Green politics came to be, as the kids say, "hip" and politics began to look a little bit green around the gills. Or maybe that was me, sick with the smugness of it all. Who knows.
Anyway, Ireland was a prime example of this Green shift. Economic comfort allowed certain voters the chance to support issues which, in the past, were considered on the fringes of mainstream politics. No issue was more latched on to than that of climate change. No party benefitted more from this than the Greens. Drawing support from the newly affluent middle classes and Ireland's youth, the Green Party grew steadily in strength culminating in a hugely impressive campaign in 2007's General Election. When the dust cleared, the Green Party found themselves in government with two parties whose outlooks on the environment differed so vastly from their own that it quickly became evident this coalition would end in tears.
It is not an exaggeration to say that by forming this coalition with the big business politics of Fianna Fáil and the Progressive Democrats led the Greens to almost entirely sacrifice their ideology. The swift u-turn on their Shell to Sea policy best exemplified the sudden change that came over the Greens. Unfortunately, if you put yourself forth as an narrow interest ideological party - no matter what the ideology is - you MUST stick with that ideology no matter what the circumstances. The Greens, however, did not and swiftly alienated the voters who believed their policies would save the ozone layer or the greater spotted swamp eel or whatever other cause was in vogue that day. And, at the first opportunity afforded to them, those voters punished the Greens.
However, that is not the whole story. Economic hardship has fallen upon Ireland and with economic hardship comes a certain pragmatism amongst voters. Noeveau poor liberal voters who formerly aligned themselves with the Greens began to see the economic benefit of the left leaning policies of Labour. Indeed, left politics gained across the board with small parties such as the Socialist Party and People before Profit gaining council seats in urban areas; areas where the Green Party garnered most support.
In short, these local elections have been a disaster for the Green Party and the General Election, whenever it occurs, will punish them further. It is not beyond the realms of possibility that they will collapse as a party - as happened to the PD's. How quickly, then, that political promise can turn to shit if you don't maintain your integrity. But John Gormley et al should look on the bright side. At least shit can help grow grass.
Anyway, Ireland was a prime example of this Green shift. Economic comfort allowed certain voters the chance to support issues which, in the past, were considered on the fringes of mainstream politics. No issue was more latched on to than that of climate change. No party benefitted more from this than the Greens. Drawing support from the newly affluent middle classes and Ireland's youth, the Green Party grew steadily in strength culminating in a hugely impressive campaign in 2007's General Election. When the dust cleared, the Green Party found themselves in government with two parties whose outlooks on the environment differed so vastly from their own that it quickly became evident this coalition would end in tears.
It is not an exaggeration to say that by forming this coalition with the big business politics of Fianna Fáil and the Progressive Democrats led the Greens to almost entirely sacrifice their ideology. The swift u-turn on their Shell to Sea policy best exemplified the sudden change that came over the Greens. Unfortunately, if you put yourself forth as an narrow interest ideological party - no matter what the ideology is - you MUST stick with that ideology no matter what the circumstances. The Greens, however, did not and swiftly alienated the voters who believed their policies would save the ozone layer or the greater spotted swamp eel or whatever other cause was in vogue that day. And, at the first opportunity afforded to them, those voters punished the Greens.
However, that is not the whole story. Economic hardship has fallen upon Ireland and with economic hardship comes a certain pragmatism amongst voters. Noeveau poor liberal voters who formerly aligned themselves with the Greens began to see the economic benefit of the left leaning policies of Labour. Indeed, left politics gained across the board with small parties such as the Socialist Party and People before Profit gaining council seats in urban areas; areas where the Green Party garnered most support.
In short, these local elections have been a disaster for the Green Party and the General Election, whenever it occurs, will punish them further. It is not beyond the realms of possibility that they will collapse as a party - as happened to the PD's. How quickly, then, that political promise can turn to shit if you don't maintain your integrity. But John Gormley et al should look on the bright side. At least shit can help grow grass.
Monday, June 1, 2009
It's a holiday surprise, and a bright one at that...
Oh, how I wish that were true. Someone, anyone, surprise me. God lads, I'd love to go on a holiday. For almost any length of time, to almost any destination. Even though the Old Country seems positively Arcadian at the moment with azure blue skies and lush green grass as far as the eye can see I still feel an urge to feck off to some mystery destination. I guess I'm just a bit tired of the routine of life. I suppose it's sometimes necessary just to take a break.
It's a funny time of the year, though, and your mid 20's are a strange time in your life. The summer, for me, always conjures up ideas of jetting off to some exotic location to drink strange cocktails and fornicate in the sand. Whilst your 20's sometimes seem as your last years of temporary freedom from the stultifying doldrums of the 9 to 5 routine. So here I am, stuck with those two ideas in my head and feeling very sorry for myself that I'm sitting at a boring desk in a boring job doing boring work. Or, as the case may be, writing this boring blog. Sometimes I feel deep hatred for all my friends who've jetted off to Australia and South America for the year. Other times it's merely an intense dislike. Those hideous, tanned, despicable, happy PRICKS.
It's hard to definitively say WHY we feel this urge to travel but let me have a go for the craic. To travel is essentially to fulfil the most basic and primal of human urges - the neverending search. For answers where none exist, for meaning in a world that may, for all we will ever know, have none. We are all looking for something, an answer to life's unanswerable. Our innate desire to travel perhaps best illustrates that. Or perhaps I'm talking a load of ould bollocks, it's been known to happen. But I think mankind will always want a new frontier, greater lands to conquer, new horizons to explore. Our search will drive us to greater things as time goes by, endless frontiers and unreachable horizons far beyond what we can imagine today. But for now, for me, anywhere will do...well, except maybe for the Middle East. I don't need my balls blown off by some deranged Muslim suicide bomber.
Although he looks like quite a nice young fella doesn't he?
It's a funny time of the year, though, and your mid 20's are a strange time in your life. The summer, for me, always conjures up ideas of jetting off to some exotic location to drink strange cocktails and fornicate in the sand. Whilst your 20's sometimes seem as your last years of temporary freedom from the stultifying doldrums of the 9 to 5 routine. So here I am, stuck with those two ideas in my head and feeling very sorry for myself that I'm sitting at a boring desk in a boring job doing boring work. Or, as the case may be, writing this boring blog. Sometimes I feel deep hatred for all my friends who've jetted off to Australia and South America for the year. Other times it's merely an intense dislike. Those hideous, tanned, despicable, happy PRICKS.
It's hard to definitively say WHY we feel this urge to travel but let me have a go for the craic. To travel is essentially to fulfil the most basic and primal of human urges - the neverending search. For answers where none exist, for meaning in a world that may, for all we will ever know, have none. We are all looking for something, an answer to life's unanswerable. Our innate desire to travel perhaps best illustrates that. Or perhaps I'm talking a load of ould bollocks, it's been known to happen. But I think mankind will always want a new frontier, greater lands to conquer, new horizons to explore. Our search will drive us to greater things as time goes by, endless frontiers and unreachable horizons far beyond what we can imagine today. But for now, for me, anywhere will do...well, except maybe for the Middle East. I don't need my balls blown off by some deranged Muslim suicide bomber.
Although he looks like quite a nice young fella doesn't he?
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