Most of Michael Jackson's songs were shit and now he's dead

Listen, I am fully aware at this stage that Michael Jackson is dead. I am fully aware that he had a strange and terrible life filled with misery and depression and excessive prescription drugs and dubious sexual practices and bizarre plastic surgery and a partridge in a pear tree. I am fully aware that he sold a lot of albums, made a lot of money, was the King of Pop and moonwalked to the clinic to get his skin bleached. I have been fed so much information on this freak of nature over the past three days I feel I could write his biography (However, I wouldn't waste my time on such on enterprise because what do I care about an average musician who allegedly touched kids cocks as a hobby?)

News needs to be new. That is why it is called NEWs. He's dead three days now. I never thought I'd say this but please, Sky News, please tell me about the brave boys in Iraq. Please tell me about Katie Price/Jordan/Titty O'Toole and her wild soirees in Ibiza. Please tell me about something that is happening right NOW! Please tell me ANYTHING other than MICHAEL JACKSON IS FUCKING DEAD.

And don't get me started on the idiot tabloids. 'Fatso' Murphy and 'Git' Smith and fucking 'Fingers' McGraw... they're fucking criminals, not Disney cartoon characters. You useless, pathetic cunts.

I start with the best of intentions and end up riling myself into an intense fury. Still, nothing like a bit of keyboard heroism eh?

In positive news, Blur were "well kewl" at Glasto. "Wikkid"!